July 01, 2009
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Toddler Cooperation Tips
Toddler Ideas is the insightful ezine delivered to your inbox every month from clever-toddler-activities.com
July 2009 Issue 02
Featuring:
- Opening Thoughts – Why the Terrible Twos?
- Q&A with Claire - Turning the Battle of Wills into Teamwork
- Cute Corner – But Daddy...
- Tip of the Month – Improve Her Decision Making Skills and Her Life!
- Featured Page – Do You Celebrate Independence Day?
Opening Thoughts
Why the Terrible Twos?The times when we try to care for our toddlers are often when they show their worst behaviour, aren't they?!
It's amazing how differently toddlers view situations to us! Since we can't remember how we felt as far back as toddlerhood, it's no wonder so many of us adults' misinterpret toddlers' commuication as mischief.
Through my years of study and experience with many toddlers, I've concluded that their misbehaviour often stems from misunderstanding. All toddlers are unique but I've observed many have similarities in various quantities.
In this issue of Toddler Ideas I'll share tips on how I've gained cooperation from many toddlers who have been in all sorts of moods.
Q&A With Claire
If you have a question about toddlers, we'd love to help! Just use our handy contact form.I had a conversation with a father recently relating to the challenge of getting little ones to cooperate. I think you might gain a lot from it, so instead of the usual emailed question and answer format, this month you get to read our conversation. It's slightly edited of course - my memory isn't perfect yet... ;-)
Turning the Battle of Wills into Teamwork
A father came into nursery (daycare) one day with his 1 year old son. We'll call the boy Sam. When I asked how Sam was, his Dad replied "Frankly, he's a pain in the neck! Nowadays everything we do for Sam turns into a fight or an annoying game."
"Really?" I reply. He continues: "Yeah, like this morning he kept on wiggling the toothbrush around so his mum couldn't brush his teeth properly, he refused to eat anything and hit the spoon so hard Weetabix went flying across the room. Then I had to chase Sam around the house to get him dressed...I could go on for ages!"
Sam's Dad concludes: "I really don't know what to with him. We can't carry on like this... it's just too tiring. I'll bet you have a better strategy Claire, got any tips to make our lives easier?"
I reply: "Well, now Sam's a toddler, he fully understands that he's separate from you and his mum. As well as wanting to imitate you, he's also found that he's got new skills that he wants to practise."
"But he's too little to do it himself... isn't he?" Sam's Dad replies. "I agree, he can't care for himself, but he can help. In fact loads of toddlers, even as young as one, love to learn how to participate in their care routines. Maria Montessori was a real advocate of encouraging young children's independence."
Sam's Dad asks "OK, so how can a 1 year old help get ready?"
I reply "with a bit if practise... they can feed themselves, undress, find easily accessible clothes when asked and choose between two articles of clothing.
I often open the fastenings of toddlers shoes wide enough that with coaching they can put their own shoes on. You should see how pleased Sam is when he accomplishes this. Sometimes he even wants to do the fastenings too. So we play what I call the 'your turn, my turn game' where I let him have a go then if he needs help I say it's my turn. It's worked wonders for me. It's very handy for brushing teeth or hair too."
"Ah, that sounds useful. But what about times when he can't help... like at nappy (diaper) changes?"
"Yes, there are times when it's not safe for toddlers to help. I would also say that there's often really simple steps, which we do out of rote, but many times a toddler would be pleased and proud to do the same thing because it's grown up task. For instance, when we change a child's nappy we let them pick out a nappy from the cupboard below the mat first. Quite a few of the older one-year-olds open the cupboard door themselves too."
Anyway, sorry back to your question... for the times when you just need Sam to let you help him: we find nursery rhymes work like a gem, especially when sung enthusiastically! Also talking about what you're doing helps. We have photos from calenders and magazines of animals and transport etc. up in the changing area, so we talk about those too."
"Wow, thanks Claire, I'll definitely try out those tips. Got to dash to work though, so see you later, thanks again... bye Sam."
If you'd like some tips on these and similar topics, check out our Toddler Parenting page.
Can't remember many nursery rhymes? No problem! You'll find old favourites, new pre-school songs and the three most popular rhymes of all from our Popular Nursery Rhymes page.
Cute Corner
But Daddy...My husband and I took our two-year-old daughter to the home improvement store. Madison got tired of walking, so my husband let her ride on his shoulders. As he walked, Madison began pulling his hair. Although he asked her to stop several times, she kept on. Getting annoyed, he scolded, "Madison! Stop that!"
"But, Daddy," she replied, "I'm just trying to get my gum back."
Received via the Good Clean Funnies List.
Tip of the Month
Improve Her Decision Making Skills and Her Life!It's simple, but very effective. When your toddler feels restricted and can't do/get what she wants, try giving choices. Offering two good options is perfect for toddlers and then they can naturally extend into open ended questions throughout the years.
This is so versatile, you can adapt it to any situation. Such as: 'Would you like to throw that conker in a bush or put it in my pocket?' or 'Would you like to walk or be carried to bed?' This can even be done before they can talk.
I've had so many amazing results with this practise because it:
- Empowers children
- Validates their opinions
- Satifies their need for some independence
- Helps children feel valued
- Raises their self-esteem
- Anybody cooperates more when they're feeling good
Plus life-long benefits of regular use include: improved problem-solving skills and the ability to make good decisions. This may lead to your child/teen having enough confidence to stand up to peer pressure in dangerous situations later.
Featured Page
Do You Celebrate Independence Day?If so, why not involve your toddler in the festivities with toddler projects? Simply check out our Independence Day Crafts page for ideas on how to help your child make their own US flag, a Patriotic Photo Frame, Independence Day Streamers or even a Fourth of July Fruit Salad to show good old American patriotism!
What do you think?
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