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Helping Toddler Behaviour
For Active Toddlers
Toddler Ideas is the insightful ezine delivered to your inbox monthly from clever-toddler-activities.com
December, 2011 Issue 24
Featuring:
- Opening Thoughts – Wondering What to Do With All Their Toys?
- Q&A with Claire – Dealing with Aggressive Behaviour
- Did You Know? - That Caffeine Can Affect Kids' Behaviour? Plus it's in more things than coffee!
- Featured Page – Helping Us Be the Best We Can Be
Opening Thoughts
Wondering What To Do With All Their Toys?
I hope you and your family had a wonderful Christmas (if you celebrated it). Whether you did or not, isn’t buying toys for little ones fun?! Good quality toys are really useful at helping children learn, develop and enjoy life.
However young children can easily feel overwhelmed, scattered and unable to focus when surrounded by too many toys and books, especially if they are unorganized. You don’t have to feel at all guilty if your little one has loads of toys either.
Maybe you could rotate their toys so some are available to your child(ren) and some are out of reach/sight and then regularly swap them around. Feel free to leave the ones they use daily out all the time. Time and time again I find tots are instantly attracted to old toys each time they reappear.
It’s amazing how many toys get ignored when they’re buried in a toy chest or storage box! Then as soon as those same toys are in easy reach they are often well played with. I found that toys get used more frequently and usually treated with more care when they are stored on shelves. Of course, sets of toys work well in individual boxes or baskets in a storage unit, on shelves or the floor.
When a toy chest is the only option available, I often sort through and change the order that the toys are placed into the chest. You may have a little helper who dumps out the toys regularly to see all the options or just for the sake of it. :-) I also display toys (especially puzzles) on the coffee table, foot stool, along the edges of a wall and/or at the side of the sofa etc.
Also is it time to give away or put away the baby toys or toys your tot never plays with? A few orderly displayed toys within their reach can help little ones' concentrate more, especially if there’s little background noise as well. Basically do what works for your family or setting.
I hope you find the tips on toddler behaviour useful in this issue of Toddler Ideas. You may notice that I am using the British spelling of behaviour. :-) Patricia, Helen and I wish you and your family a wonderful 2012!
Q&A with Claire
Dealing With Aggressive Behaviour
Question:
I have a question - my son is very sweet but sometimes he hits other toddlers younger or the same age (he's turning two in a few days). I have tried different things from time out to talking to him and modeling different behavior but nothing seems to stop the behavior. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Veronica
Answer:
Hi Veronica,
That's a good question... toddlers hitting each other is very common and tricky to deal with! Please realise that hitting is a phase, which lots of toddlers go through because they are naturally self-centred and can't see other people's perspective. Little ones obviously need to be taught social skills and often need reminders for a while as it is challenging for young children to master self-control. It's important that they get gently guided and respectfully taught what they should be doing.
When a toddler in my care hits, I try my best to stay calm, physically (yet gently) prevent the tot from striking again while apologising to the child who was hit (checking they're OK etc). ASAP, I try and get the eye contact of the child who just hit and say something like "that hurt that little boy (or name of child) and made them feel sad, let's be gentle or keep your hands to yourself" or "I know you really wanted a turn on the slide (or that toy) right away but if you wait you can have your turn when they're done".
It's most effective if we stay calm and don't threaten or punish because toddlers can't understand the link between their actions and punishments, the learning capability of anyone is reduced while they are fearful, plus when punishments finally work they encourage the selfish thinking of 'what will happen to ME if I do this?' or 'is an adult watching? No, I'll get away with it then', rather than feeling empathy and compassion towards others. The way I deal with aggression is not a quick fix but I have found that it does tend to shorten the aggressive phase and helps raise compassionate, respectful children.
Other things to consider are whether your son hits to get your attention or to get his own way? Acknowledging the root problem, validating how your child might be feeling and allowing appropriate expression of their feelings often helps children to release trapped negative emotions and feel understood, which can aid them to move on happily.
For example: 'Wow, you look angry. Are you angry because I was busy chatting with Sue? I can see you really feel like hitting but that hurts people, would like to pound a pillow or squeeze some playdough? OK, you'd rather scream, well that's a way of releasing anger yet it's hurting our ears. Here's some crayons, do you want to show me how angry you are on this paper? *child draws* Oh yes, I see." I believe emotions do indeed need to be expressed, just in appropriate ways.
Also, is your son ready to interact with toddlers who are younger or the same age? Toddlers are only capable of very simple forms of play with their peers and many can't manage that. Contrary to popular belief, adults and gentle children who are much older make much better play mates for toddlers because they usually have enough social skills and patience to deal with the challenges toddlerhood brings.
I hope you find this useful. :-) Happy Birthday to your son!
Take care, Claire
Did You Know?
That Caffeine Can Affect Kids' Behaviour?
(Plus it's in more things than coffee!)
It's amazing how much caffeine even little kids can take in without touching coffee! There's been many times when I've found out or remembered that the children in my care have had chocolate a hour or two before they've been especially badly behaved and/or extremely emotional.
I was shocked to find out that there's even caffeine in painkillers but that might be the reason why I've often observed ill tots run wild after a small dose of painkiller for children. So I decided to research the effects of caffeine on children some more.
Dr. Ron Eisenberg and Dr. Virgil Williams, physicians at Highland General Hospital in Oakland, California, USA state “Several studies have shown that children respond to caffeine the same as do adults. A low dose may aid concentration and task completion, but higher doses typically make children nervous, anxious, fidgety, frustrated and quicker to anger.
...In a study of preschoolers from a higher income New York City suburb, heavier caffeine consumers among children who had the equivalent of three to four cups of coffee daily had "uncontrollable energy". Some of these children were actually misdiagnosed as having attention deficit disorder with hyperactivity (ADHD).
Like adults, children who are regular caffeine drinkers [in the form of soda] suffer ill effects when they do not get a regular "shot". In one study, fifth and sixth graders who were deprived of daily caffeine reported having symptoms including trouble thinking clearly, not feeling energetic and getting angry. Even those consuming less than the equivalent of one soda each day felt symptoms. In effect, these children had become dependent on caffeine.”
KidsHealth.org shares more information on the effects of caffeine on children, which was reviewed by Steven Dowshen, MD. “Foods and drinks with caffeine are everywhere, but it's wise to keep caffeine consumption to a minimum, especially in younger kids.
In both kids and adults, too much caffeine can cause:
- jitteriness and nervousness
- upset stomach
- headaches
- difficulty concentrating
- difficulty sleeping
- increased heart rate
- increased blood pressure
Especially in young kids, it doesn't take a lot of caffeine to produce these effects.
...Although kids get most of their caffeine from sodas, it's also found in coffee, tea, chocolate, coffee ice cream or frozen yogurt, as well as pain relievers and other over-the-counter medicines.
...People who regularly drink beverages containing caffeine soon develop a reduced sensitivity to caffeine. This means they require higher doses of caffeine to achieve the same effects as someone who doesn't drink caffeinated drinks often. So, the more caffeine kids take in, the more caffeine they'll need to feel the same effects.
In addition to being more susceptible to the effects of caffeine based on size, younger kids are more sensitive because they haven't been exposed to it as much as older kids or adults.
Caffeine moves through the body within a few hours and is then passed through the urine. It's not stored in the body, but kids may feel its effects for up to 6 hours if they're sensitive to it.
Can you keep kids caffeine-free? Absolutely! The best way to cut caffeine (and added sugar) is to eliminate soda.” I will add that it would be helpful to limit chocolate consumption too.
Featured Page
Helping Us Be the Best We Can Be
Emotional freedom techniques (EFT) are perfect for getting over those emotional humps that come about when our toddler 'pushes our emotional buttons' and we might do things we regret. I know it's awful, and we've all experienced this to some extent, so I urge you to check out this helpful page and explore how EFT can give you emotional freedom so you can be the parent you really want to be, and help you cope with tricky toddler behaviour.
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